A ministry to wives of sex addict husbands
Living with a stranger...husband
“I’ve just discovered that my husband is a sex addict! I’ve known for some time that something was wrong, but this—having sex with other people—men, women, couples? What is wrong with me? What have I done to turn him into a sex addict?’ I've been living with a stranger who I thought was my husband!”
Unfortunately, I receive many calls from women devastated by the discovery of their husband's sex addiction. A plethora of emotions and self-blame ensue. Feeling angry, shocked, ashamed, hopeless, in fear of possibly having contracted STDs, and uncertain about continuing in the relationship overwhelm her. She is depressing as her world, as she’s known it, is falling apart.
pornography has no boundaries...but you can
Dealing with “this” by yourself is challenging and can often lead to a downward spiral of depression and self-blame. Seeking individual counseling, group therapy, or a 12-step meeting is crucial to your healing and recovery. This type of support will help you better understand the importance of taking care of yourself, setting healthy boundaries, and establishing where you “draw the line” with your spouse. “Boundaries in Marriage”, one of the books recommended during our counseling and group therapy sessions, serves as a great foundation in helping you understand what a boundary is and how to set limits for yourself rather than for your spouse. It is essential that you realize change begins with you, not in changing or controlling your spouse’s behaviors.
“Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.” James 1:21-27
support, prayer, and encouragement
Friends and family generally mean well when telling you to "get over it” and "just move on!" However, as we all know, this is not something that you simply just “get over” and move on with overnight. The discovery alone is devastating in itself, as the depths of the sexual sin your spouse has been involved in can be too much to bear all at once; YOU WANT ANSWERS! “What's so wrong with me that he chose everyone else but me?” You cry out to God in sheer desperation. “HELP me! PLEASE, God, rescue me from this horrible nightmare!” Nothing anyone says seems to move you toward healing, and when your loved ones encourage you, it is but for a fleeting moment that you feel satisfied, and then those overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and despair seep back in. Then, it happens; the day you wake up realizing you too need help! For some, this day is long in coming, but for others who are naturally proactive, it comes quickly. Thankfully, for those who do not seem to want help, friends and family play a vital role in bringing awareness for the necessity of it, and soon they too, come in for much-needed support.
“Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, And He brought them out of their distresses. He caused the storm to be still, So that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet, So He guided them to their desired haven.” Psalm 107:28-30
My Prayer for you
My prayer is that you are coming to the place of ACCEPTANCE. Accepting and admitting what has happened is crucial to moving towards your healing. There is HOPE for you and for your husband, if he is willing to get the help he needs and make the necessary changes required to turn from his sin. Walking through the painful stages of spiritual and emotional healing is essential in overcoming your hurt, anger, shame, humiliation, and especially in preparing for the future. This process requires a commitment to seeking God for the deep spiritual healing that only He can do. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33 One-on-one counseling is crucial to your healing as well, as is attending a support group to encourage you while you walk towards your recovery. Being a part of a support group will not only benefit you, but it will also allow you to “pay it forward” to other women who are coming in for the very first time and need to hear that there is hope, from someone like you who has previously walked through the beginning stages of this process.
Getting the help you need is a choice that only you can make, so I pray that you chose to do so and allow us the opportunity to support you through your healing journey. Call today to schedule an appointment.
“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” James 1:5
“So the LORD must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries.” Isaiah 30:18-19.
schedule your appointment today!
eXtraordinaryLIFE Christian Counseling & Coaching
Bus.: 281.812.0783 | Cell: 281.441.9703 | Email: Contact@eXtraordinaryLIFE.us | Skype: eXtraordinary.LIFE